Hello again. It's me, Fred.
Oh lawsy. This week, I've been into what old girl calls "mischief." Now I thought at first that she was talking about some person named Miss Chiff, but then I found out that's "Miss Chiff" is just a goat. And old girl was really talking about me getting into trouble.
Anyways, old girl has been trying to trap me into this little area, where I can just run up and down the stairs and around the foyer-thing at our house. Well, I thought it would be lots and lots more fun to run round the living room, too, especially when I realized I can pop open those trap doors fairly easily.
Tee hee.
Old girl got mad 'cause I ate her pens...and Mr. Jason's food...and shredded some toilet paper. And I think she don't like me watching her TV without her neither. (I only like the shows with puppies, like Gilmore Girls.)
Tee hee.
Anyways, old girl then one day tried to trap me in that little area with the scariest thing I know...the vacuum cleaner. The only thing scarier than the big vacuum cleaner is...the little one.
Anyways, I finally got up my nerve and just growled at that thing and ran right past it.
So, tonight she has trapped me in here with some crazy looking TV trays, but they don't scare me neither.
Maybe I'll post my Houndini secrets on here sometime, but I'm too afraid old girl might read my blog!
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Falling in Fall
Hello again. It's me, Fred.
First of all, I would just like to say Roll Tide. They beat those Hoity Toidy Rebels today, and I'm real proud that my old girl thought to put on my Roll Tide jersey just in time. I would've hated to have been the cause of the Tide's first loss this season.
Now, I've been real clumsy this week, and I'm thinking it has to do something with this thing we're in called Fall. (As usual, I'm too embarrassed to show my own picture. Plus, old girl is not swift enough with her camera to catch me.) I've been slip-sliding off the couch, down the stairs, flat off of the big bed. I think I is jinxed!
Either that, or my same ol' plain ol' diet is finally getting to me. I just don't think I have the usual Spring in my step without my Greenies.
Now, wait a minute. Wait just a dadgum minute.
Maybe I'm just s'posed to be clumsy in Fall and bouncy in Spring. That makes perfect sense.
I'm sleepy now after all this logic stuff. See you next week.
First of all, I would just like to say Roll Tide. They beat those Hoity Toidy Rebels today, and I'm real proud that my old girl thought to put on my Roll Tide jersey just in time. I would've hated to have been the cause of the Tide's first loss this season.
Now, I've been real clumsy this week, and I'm thinking it has to do something with this thing we're in called Fall. (As usual, I'm too embarrassed to show my own picture. Plus, old girl is not swift enough with her camera to catch me.) I've been slip-sliding off the couch, down the stairs, flat off of the big bed. I think I is jinxed!
Either that, or my same ol' plain ol' diet is finally getting to me. I just don't think I have the usual Spring in my step without my Greenies.
Now, wait a minute. Wait just a dadgum minute.
Maybe I'm just s'posed to be clumsy in Fall and bouncy in Spring. That makes perfect sense.
I'm sleepy now after all this logic stuff. See you next week.
Friday, October 07, 2005
More Royalties
Hello again.
It's me...Fred.
Well, we once again look at the subject of folkses using my name without my permission.
This time, I have encountered the book Farting Fred and the Dog Show. Now, I'll admit. Sometimes I do get a little gas. But I would never choose to make my millions by sharing that with the world in the form of a furry whoopee cushion.
Oh, dear.
And this Fred is much less attractive than I is.
Anyways, that's all the disturbances from my world.
Except, tonight I went to deliver Mr. Jason some coffee, and he said he needed help answering phones! So the nice folkses at Alabama Public Radio let me and my old girl do just that!
I was ready to answer with the pledge form, but nobody called. And now I don't know if old girl will let me come back with her tomorrow night. So, you'd better just donate on the World Wide Web and put, under comments, that you'd like Fred to be a guest commentator on any show at any time.
Have a nice weekend!
It's me...Fred.
Well, we once again look at the subject of folkses using my name without my permission.
This time, I have encountered the book Farting Fred and the Dog Show. Now, I'll admit. Sometimes I do get a little gas. But I would never choose to make my millions by sharing that with the world in the form of a furry whoopee cushion.
Oh, dear.
And this Fred is much less attractive than I is.
Anyways, that's all the disturbances from my world.
Except, tonight I went to deliver Mr. Jason some coffee, and he said he needed help answering phones! So the nice folkses at Alabama Public Radio let me and my old girl do just that!
I was ready to answer with the pledge form, but nobody called. And now I don't know if old girl will let me come back with her tomorrow night. So, you'd better just donate on the World Wide Web and put, under comments, that you'd like Fred to be a guest commentator on any show at any time.
Have a nice weekend!
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Dreams
Hello, again.
It's me...Fred.
My old girl been real busy at work lately. That's why this blog is dee-layed.
Anyway, I want to tell you 'bout some of my dreams. My old girl and Mr. Jason think it real funny when Fred dreams because apparently I make a lot of noise. I bark and shake my paws up in the air.
As I said, they think it real funny, but it make perfect sense to Fred!
I have the same dream every night. I chase squirrels around that Quad. I bark at them, and I run and run. And when I catch those squirrels, I lick them!
My old girl and Mr. Jason say they have different dreams most every night. Well, like I said, I have that squirrel dream all the time, but the other night I thought I was having a nightmare that turned out to be true!
After my bath, my old girl sat me down and said "Fred. It's time for your haircut." Now I don't like haircuts that much, but I have to get them every few months or so. So I expect to get all loaded up in the car and head to the beauty shop.
But no! This time, my old girl comes at me with the scissors. Well, at first, I run and run. But then, I sit down, and she trims me up!
And what do you know? My old girl did a pretty good job on Fred. I look real handsome, especially in my Roll Tide jersey.
And, by the way, we beat those Gators 31-3.
Roll Tide.
It's me...Fred.
My old girl been real busy at work lately. That's why this blog is dee-layed.
Anyway, I want to tell you 'bout some of my dreams. My old girl and Mr. Jason think it real funny when Fred dreams because apparently I make a lot of noise. I bark and shake my paws up in the air.
As I said, they think it real funny, but it make perfect sense to Fred!
I have the same dream every night. I chase squirrels around that Quad. I bark at them, and I run and run. And when I catch those squirrels, I lick them!
My old girl and Mr. Jason say they have different dreams most every night. Well, like I said, I have that squirrel dream all the time, but the other night I thought I was having a nightmare that turned out to be true!
After my bath, my old girl sat me down and said "Fred. It's time for your haircut." Now I don't like haircuts that much, but I have to get them every few months or so. So I expect to get all loaded up in the car and head to the beauty shop.
But no! This time, my old girl comes at me with the scissors. Well, at first, I run and run. But then, I sit down, and she trims me up!
And what do you know? My old girl did a pretty good job on Fred. I look real handsome, especially in my Roll Tide jersey.
And, by the way, we beat those Gators 31-3.
Roll Tide.
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